BLACK LIVES MATTER! MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!
I wonder what emotions those sparked in you. Maybe a feeling of frustration or irritation. Maybe a feeling of power and strength or hurt and pain. So many different and conflicting emotions. Either way, relax. I’m not going to talk about the BLM movement, politics, or systemic issues. In fact, I hope this brings hope and unity instead of anger and division.
I used to be a racial warrior. I was going to college with the plan to get a social work degree. As I got educated, I started to fight. Social media was my main platform, and oh boy, did I use it! I was passionate about exposing “the truth” in this country. My goal was to tell everyone the logic and the knowledge behind all the issues that plague our country and world. However, it always came back empty. No one’s opinion ever changed. Those who were for what I was for, stayed true. Those who were against what I was for, stayed against it. I always ended up crying, angry, and hopeless.
In my second year of college, I rededicated my life to Jesus and started on my journey as a Christian. Since then, many things have changed. I stopped going to school, I moved back home, and racial issues— I let that go. You see, I didn’t let it go because I was a Christian. I let it go because it was too much. Dealing with racism was too heavy. Arguing. Pain. Ignorance. It was too heavy. I was so broken. As I grew in my relationship with God, He started to change my focus. I started to realize where the real fight was (It’s not against people– Ephesians 6:12). I started to have a Biblical understanding and Christian worldview regarding the issues of this world. However, when it came to my concern for racial issues, my heart was hardened. I never cried when another African-American was killed, I never watched the news, I never read any articles, and I rarely got into debates on social media. I refused to have conversations about race. But it wasn’t because of my faith. It was because if I did, instantly, the anger that boiled inside me was unbearable. So, I numbed all my feelings towards racial issues.
Towards the end of 2016, God started challenging me to address this hardening of heart, but I struggled to do so. In my mind, being a Christian and being black conflicted. I felt as though I shouldn’t have the pain, and I shouldn’t struggle with the weight of racism. Do you know what I mean? As Christians, we’re supposed to declare, “We’ve been set free! We’ve been redeemed! I am no longer chained to the weight of this world! I am a child of God!” My mind tried to tell me that if I have an issue with race, I’m not focusing on my identity in Christ, and I’m not setting my eyes on things above. For some reason, I thought being a Christian means, in some way, I needed to be colorblind. However, little by little, God started to open my heart to the truth.
I started to ask questions to myself and to God. God, I know the world will never unify, but why is the Church still divided? Why do I feel like I can’t talk about the pain with the body of Christ? Why do I feel like white Christians don’t care?
As I opened up to God, He started to show me my hurts: all my encounters with racism, with internalized oppression, and self-hate due to racism. But what stuck out to me the most, was realizing, I walked through those situations alone. I have had more white friends than I have had black friends. BY A LOT. But I realized, many of them of them have seen and been in situations where I have dealt with racism of some sort. However, not one has ever seen my pain. When an African American gets killed and social media blows up, I see white Christians post all the time, “LOVE LOVE LOVE”, but those in my life have never reached out to me and asked me how I was doing.
This hurt.
I went to a social justice and race seminar at the end of 2016. It confirmed a lot of the things the Holy Spirit was teaching me as well as the reason of the perceived conflict of being black and a Christian. One speaker, Allen Hood, sparked something in me. To paraphrase in regards to the Black Lives Matter movement, he said that it’s so easy to bring out your Bible and say everything that’s wrong about what goes on. But it’s important to realize that behind the anger is hurt. African Americans are hurting. As Christians, our first response to our brothers and sisters is to listen, hear and understand their pain (James 1:19). This white, male, Christian, shocked the life out of me. As he talked about how important it is to get into the world of African Americans and understand their hurt, tears streamed down his face. Tears streamed down my face.
Now let me tell you something, This may sound blunt, but at that point in my life, white people’s tears, in regards to racial issues, never moved me. Don’t get me wrong, they are sympathetic and the emotions may be real, but African Americans don’t need sympathy. We need empathy. We need our pain to be felt. We need to be walked with and talked with. There is a kind of distance with sympathy, but a closeness with empathy. It was clear that Allen Hood has touched the pain. I can’t tell you how hard I tried to explain everything: the system, logic and the history. I gave countless examples, lashed out in anger, talked about the fear and frustrations, but I rarely talked about the pain. I never told my personal stories of dealing with racism again…. and again…. and again. I never talked about the multiple times I’ve cried, or the constant battle I’ve had to love myself for the skin I am in when it causes so much pain. It’s time to start telling my story.
In this seminar, the speakers also talked about how the world will continue to divide. Racial issues will continue to increase, but the Church will grow together in unity. Believers and unbelievers will be able to look to the Church for racial reconciliation. This gave me so much hope. I have lost all hope in this world, and I was honestly starting to lose hope in the Church. I was on the road of only having confident hope that in heaven, all will be made well. But seeing just one, white, male, Christian, who loved Jesus, and was so passionate about racial reconciliation, awoke something within me. Hope. Being in a room full of white Christians, humbling themselves by being there, searching for answers on how to deal with the racial issues of today, sprung my hope in the Church.
We have a long way to go, but we’ll get there. This starts with our white brothers and sisters humbling themselves and feeling our black brothers and sisters pain. It’s not good enough to have black friends but be oblivious to the pain they’re in and not hear their story. It’s a necessity to understand that the pain of racism doesn’t go away when you know God. I know my identity in Christ. I know how God sees me. I know I am His child and that nothing about me brings more or less value to how He sees me. I believe that I am included in the anthem of 1 Peter 2:9. I know He has a purpose and a plan for me as stated in Jeremiah 29:11. And I know His plan for me is not bound by this world as promised in Romans 8:28. However, I think anyone can admit that being a Christian doesn’t mean you go without trials, tribulations, and pain. This means the pain that I will carry for the rest of my life is dealing with racism because it will never go away in this world.
The truth is, the hope of the Gospel isn’t just about all the things God can do for you in this world. You can’t just go to a brothel and preach God’s blessings on earth. You can’t go to a 3rd world country and promise God will bless them all financially. Many people will live their life in pain and suffering, but it does not mean they do not know their identity in Christ. The hope of the Gospel includes that this world will end! There is a better life in store for those who believe in Jesus. This world will hurt you and kill you, but this isn’t the end! Praise God for the Good News!
Racial reconciliation ALSO starts with me and those who have the same struggles I do. I need to open my heart and be vulnerable. If you are a person of color and reading this: stop being angry when people don’t understand your explanations, logic, or frustration. We can’t always argue others into believing what we believe. We need to tell our real stories, in real ways, with real face to face conversations with our brothers and sisters in Christ.
I get it. Talking about race makes you uncomfortable. It’s convicting, it’s annoying, and you honestly have the ability to ignore it if you want to. Allen Hood said, “I can handle being uncomfortable for a few years of this short life when they’ve been uncomfortable for 200 years.” I understand that it’s very difficult for a person to get to this point. Our nature is to make things as easy and comfortable for ourselves as possible. Touching the pain is not easy.
I asked God, “How can I convince my white Christian friends that they need to touch my pain, that God is calling them to do more? How can I show them that this is the way to unify the Church in regards to race?” God put in my heart, Galatians 6:2– Carry each others burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. We are called to show the law of Christ, which is love, by carrying each others burdens (this goes both ways). Although there are so many great things about being black, it is also comes with a burden. Let me repeat that: being black automatically comes with a burden (to some it may feel heavier than others. Don’t undermine someone’s pain because another may not feel it to that extent). Black people are an oppressed people group all around the world. It. Is. Hard. To. Be. Black. I reiterate, for us Christians, this is not because we don’t know who we are in Christ, but because of the world we live in. Everyone is affected by the evil of this world.
All of this drew me to believe that God’s Word truly answers all of my questions regarding race. I don’t need to look to the world for a solution. God is sovereign and He is in control. The Church will unify when we love each other fully. I believe this because that is what God said will happen. That is one of the purposes of the Church. And I trust Jesus. So are we all ready to do this together?